Alright, friend, buckle up. We're diving into the abyss where cozy spiritual platitudes go to die. The real deal? Enlightenment isn't a scenic drive; it's a demolition derby. That's right, not an amusement park, but a construction site; and you're holding a wrecking ball, not a map. You, like many lost souls, are on this eternal quest to "find yourself," as if you're a trinket waiting to be discovered. You're not.