That Time Enlightenment Crashed My Pity Party
A Comedy of Cosmic Proportions
Hey there. So, you think enlightenment is all about some bald guy sitting under a tree, right?
Nah. Sometimes it's more like a stand-up routine from the universe that crashes your life-long self-pity gala. Why should you care?
Because if you're up to your neck in cosmic nonsense, maybe you need a kick in the ass too.
The Enlightenment Drive-By
Let's set the stage. Year 2019.
Me, splayed on my couch, remote in one hand, tub of ice cream in the other. A Netflix binge-session ready to numb the sense out of me.
Oh, don't roll your eyes, you've been there. But before I could click on "Yes, I'm still watching," boom! A blast of cosmic clarity smacked me upside the head. A divine drive-by, no less. I went from planning my own exit strategy to "Holy crap, I'm everything and nothing!"
You get that? Me neither. But it happened.
Cosmic Comedy: Your Life's a Joke, But You're the Punchline
Ever read Ken Wilber or Adyashanti? Doesn't matter.
Point is, they all talk about enlightenment as some grand awakening. And sure, it's transformative.
But here's the part they gloss over: it's also downright hilarious. I was this close to ending it all, stewing in my own misery soup, and the Universe just sent me the ultimate punchline. A cosmic joke that turned my entire existence upside-down.
Not just a chuckle, mind you—a deep, belly-aching, cosmic LOL.
Your Own Damned Oracle: Reality Checks Don't Bounce
Alright, let's wrap this gig up. What's actionable here?
Don't go looking for oracles or magic beans. Seriously, don't. Your own damned self is the oracle. But remember, oracles are sneaky bastards. They'll hit you when you least expect it. While you're on your proverbial toilet, or in my case, half-assing through another episode of a show I won't even remember.
Stay aware. Stay amused.
How to Get Your Pity Party Crashed, Enlightenment Style
You can't plan this stuff. That's the whole cosmic joke.
You might be flat on your face, years into a losing streak, and BAM! Enlightenment. It's not always under a Bodhi tree or atop some mountain. Sometimes, it's right there, on your dingy old couch.
So, next time you're thinking you've got it all figured out, just remember, the universe has the last laugh. And it's a riot.