Okay, champ. So you're on a spiritual quest.
You think you're headed towards enlightenment, self-realization, cosmic oneness, or whatever the hell you're calling it this week. Newsflash: you're on a one-way ticket to the cosmic circus and guess what, you're the main act. Why should you care?
Because if you're not careful, you're gonna end up the clown, not the ringmaster.
Your Spiritual Toolbox is a Joke Box
You’ve got your meditation apps, your mantras, your ancient texts written by long-bearded sages.
You think you're aligning your chakras, but all you're really doing is setting up the punchline for a divine joke. Even Einstein couldn’t wrap his head around the joke you're setting up.
Meditation cushions: They’re not rocket launchers, buddy.
Mantras: Repeating “Om” won't make you one with the universe; it'll just make you one with your own delusion.
Ancient texts: You're like a kid who thinks he can fly because he read Peter Pan.
Don’t take my word for it, just ask Siddhartha. Dude sat under a tree for so long he could’ve become a piece of furniture. Then he realized he was the joke all along.
Life went on, but with a belly laugh.
Spiritual Highways are Detours
So you've taken the spiritual on-ramp.
But you're not cruising down some mystical expressway; you're stuck in a roundabout and can't find the exit. You go through stages:
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to NirvanaNuke: The Ultimate Unveiling to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.