Can a Person Without an Ego Have a Strong Sense of Self?
Here’s the thing—asking if you can have a strong sense of self without an ego is like asking if you can have a successful boxing career without arms.
Spoiler: You can’t. The ego is the thing that gives you an identity, right? It’s the mental construct that says, “I’m here, you’re there, and that’s my sandwich.” Without ego, there’s no ‘I’ to claim anything, let alone a sandwich or a sense of self. So, why even entertain this paradox?
Because it’s fun to watch the mind try to wriggle out of its own trap.
Ego: Your Friendly Neighborhood Illusion
First, let’s get one thing clear: the ego isn’t evil.
It’s not some cosmic villain twirling a mustache, plotting your downfall.
It’s more like a badly drawn map—you know, the kind you’d get from a gas station in 1997, with half the roads missing and a Starbucks where there should be a forest.
It tells you where you are, but it’s wildly inaccurate. Most people cling to this map as if it were the terrain itself. They’ve got their little “I” pinned down in the corner, thinking that if they just follow the lines, they’ll find happiness, enlightenment, or at least a Wi-Fi signal. But the thing about maps is that they’re not the territory.
The ego is not the self; it’s a construct. The problem is, you’ve been duped into thinking the map is you. So, can you have a strong sense of self without the ego?
Only if you realize there’s no self to begin with.
No-Self: Congratulations, You Don’t Exist
If the ego is the map, then what’s the terrain?
Imagine standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, no map, no GPS, just raw, awe-inspiring emptiness. That’s you—minus the self. Non-duality isn’t about upgrading your ego to a “spiritual” version.
It’s about shredding the map and stepping into the void. No identity, no separation, no filter. Just pure awareness, hanging out with itself like an old friend who doesn’t talk much but always knows the right beer to order. This is where things get tricky. The mind hates this idea. It wants a label, a box to check, a ‘sense of self’ to cling to. But there’s no box here, just spaciousness.
Trying to understand ‘no-self’ with your ego-driven mind is like trying to smell colors. You can’t do it. You have to experience it, which is why all the intellectualizing about a “strong sense of self” without ego is like asking for a vegan steak—it doesn’t exist.
You’re talking about a sense of self when the whole point is to realize there isn’t one.
So, How Do You Transcend the Ego?
Now, I know you want a to-do list.
The mind loves a good list, especially when it’s about something as sexy as ego transcendence.
But here’s the thing: ego death isn’t something you do. It’s not like cleaning out the garage. It’s more like realizing the garage was never there in the first place.
The actual practice? It’s self-inquiry. You ask, “Who am I?” and you don’t stop until there’s no one left to ask the question. And let’s be honest, this isn’t some breezy weekend retreat thing. This is trench warfare with your own mind. Every time you dig into that “I” thought, it’ll bite back.
But if you keep at it, eventually the illusion cracks, and what’s left is not a stronger, more enlightened version of you—it’s no you at all. Just awareness, just presence.
And weirdly, that’s the strongest “sense of self” you’ll ever know.
Stop Trying
Here’s your takeaway: stop trying to fix the map.
The real journey begins when you throw it out. You don’t need a stronger sense of self; you need to see through the illusion of the self entirely. Ask, “Who am I?” and keep asking until you realize there’s no one home. Then—and only then—will you know what it means to live without ego. And trust me…
…it’s a hell of a lot more interesting than anything your ego could dream up.